Andrew Madsen
Mr.Allam
English II
10 March 2011
What does friendship mean to me? Since my death I have figured out that friendship means you do not distrust one person for the benefit of oneself, and you always stand up for your friend even in the worst of times. Even though that people are loyal to you doesn’t mean at all that people are your friends. Brutus is a great example he is an honorable man but yet he killed me.
Friendship to me is people who respect you and will take your word and stay in things till the end. Friendship to Brutus is someone who will take you to higher places even if you have to burn same bridges to get there. Young Brutus is just trying to make himself wealthy not the well being of his friends.
I state “what we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also”. I am saying that we always think of people who are close to us stand up for us, take us in times of need not to throw us out on the ground and leave us to starve and die. Brutus is one man who didn’t live up to this he could prosper for himself and hence for killed me. Now is a man trying to d the things I once did.
My dear friend Antony said “For Brutus is an honorable man, so are they all, all honorable men” basically Antony is warning all of you that he is a good loyal man that tried to save me that now wishes he could just of helped me. Now all of you people should take his word and help yourselves and pick your friends much more wisely.
I came you today to talk about friendship and who you should trust in these dark times so please, great people of Rome take my word and choose your friends wisely. I took Brutus as a honorable man and he killed me, do not make the same mistake as me.
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ReplyDeleteYour beginning sentence got me thinking right away. I liked how you put your thesis sentence right of the batt which got your point across right away so I knew what I was going to be reading about. At the end of the introduction, your transition sentence didn't strongly lead into the next paragraph. Do you think that next time you could use a better transition? Overall, nice job.
ReplyDeleteIt is very good and that you explain your hook in the first sentence. The problem is a bit of grammar that needs to be fixed. What do you think about the things that need to be fixed?
ReplyDeleteBringing Brutus into your refutation was a good idea. Although in order to take your paragraph to the next level, I would suggest restating your thesis and expanding on Brutus's view on your thesis. Is there anything you would change or add it you were to rewrite it?
ReplyDelete